Sunday, 01 June 2025

Was That a Temper Tantrum My Elderly Father Just Threw?

Yes, it was – and it may have seemed even more dramatic than when your daughter threw a tantrum on the grocery store floor when she was two all those years ago. Believe it or not, it’s quite common for elderly people to throw temper tantrums. Below, we look into why they happen and how best to handle them.

Why a temper tantrum?

Think about the main reasons why a toddler or a teenager may throw a tantrum. They long for independence. For the freedom to do what they want to do, when they want to do it and to take what they want when they want it. They want their way. They experience big emotions and don’t know how to cope with them. They are looking for attention in any way that they can get it.

Your elderly parent is very much the same

As our parents get older and start to require assistance in home care, whether from you or from a home care assistance agency, they ultimately lose a big chunk of their independence. They yearn for the independence they once had as they lose much of their freedom and may feel that they have become children once again. This can be extremely difficult to deal with and accept.

These changes obviously lead to numerous emotions including anger, fear and sadness that they may struggle to address. Some conditions, like dementia and Alzheimer’s, may also cause personality changes in your loved one. The end result? Temper tantrums of epic proportions.

What to Do

While your first instinct will often be to try to reason with your loved one who is having an outburst, this is rarely an effective course of action. Just like you may deal with a tantruming toddler, the best thing to do is allow your loved one to experience the outburst and feel the emotions. Just be there and listen attentively until they calm down. Sometimes simply acknowledging their feelings and spending a bit more time with them is enough to put the outbursts to rest.

However, in some cases, elderly temper tantrums can be brought on by health conditions that will need to be addressed by a medical professional. Just to be safe, it’s wise to schedule an appointment with your loved one’s doctor to make sure that the reason behind their outbursts isn’t worsening mental health or existing chronic conditions.

In many instances, it can be a big relief to enlist the help of senior home caregivers who have experience in dealing with this sort of behaviour. Having someone else to lend a hand can make it easier to cope with elderly temper tantrums and can provide you with the freedom to take a break whenever you need to. Self-care is so very important, after all.

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